http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JARax3VTPdQ
Your words were the absolute PERFECT way to wake up this morning, thank you so much my best friend. And the imagery of warm snow and calorie-less cookies and being neighbors makes me especially happy :) I'm making these before work today, they have whole wheat flour, so that means they're healthy, right??
I love that you transcribed that letter for me. I love that he mentioned Collin. I love that especially because last night I read over one of my own love letters and it actually mentions you and collin in it :) I'll transcribe a bit of it for you. I wrote it at some point in my last semester of college, with the intention of handing it to my fiance some day.
My dear someone,
My best friend Jessica just called me and read out a love letter she's (maybe?) sending to Collin, an on-again, off-again suitor going on four years. It was lovely. She decided to write it after they shared a simple evening together at his house, cuddled up in blankets together and just talking the night away. Holding hands. He walked her to the car and she said, "Well, I think you better kiss me good night"... and he did. Right on, boy. Good job.
Her letter made me want to write one to you. Where are you? Do you think of me? I took so much joy in listening to Jessica just now, remembering/imagining all of those feelings- closeness, trust, love, companionship, warmth, the catch in your breath and the butterflies in your stomach that all come with spending time with a someone who makes you forget all else and yet love and remember everything in the world at the same time. I've wanted that tingle, that connection for a while now. It's been a while. I fully believe you are coming, that these joys, these hands to be held, will be here soon.
I've never been one to believe that there's only one right person for me out there. Have you? Lately, though, I'm starting to wonder if you are a specific person. Michael my cousin gave me a blessing not too long ago that said something to the effect of, "It's not so much a matter of WHO you marry, but where and when." When I first heard that I scoffed to myself- "Uh, I'm PRETTY sure the WHO is a big deal, too"- but as I've thought more about it, I've come to the conclusion that maybe all he meant was that, for me, the who is completely taken care of. You are a specific man and we must both lead separate lives until God, fate, destiny, etc. see fit to cross and intertwine our paths for eternity.
My goodness I look forward to that day. The day we are sealed. Companion, I have a heard full of love, and lately its been broken- once severely by a certain Harvard tennis player who was everything I ever thought I wanted- truly, he filled every checklist. Oh, except for that box that says, "Love ME, recognizes my great worth, and is there for me." You will check that one off again and again and I thank you for that. Love is of God. We are meant to love, you and I , and everytime I have tried to unleash my love on a boy I've felt a certain pull, a certain guiding whisper saying, "No, don't go there." Which leads me to believe our Heavenly Father REALLY wants only YOU to have my heart. I'm just young and have tried to give it away before its time. I'm building up patience, though, and experience. Because when I meet you, as we learn to love, I think I'll be all the more ready after so many misfires. My heart is yours.
I think I spend too much time searching through these disparate puzzle pieces, trying to complete a picture that I'm not yet ready for. I should rather take the time to savor the little glimpses, the little flashes of life, that parade right outside my door everyday, instead of bounding through the beauty of the world blindly focused on a future I can't--and shouldn't-- even truly describe just yet.
This much I do know, though, and Jessica helped remind me of it tonight. There's a certain flavor that falling in love with you will most certainly have. There will be blankets and smiles, moonlight and a hand brushing hair out of the way. Eventually there will be a ring and tears and the excitement between just the two of us at the prospect of starting a new life together. Let's build a home, a marriage, stronger than all the destructive forces of the world. I'm getting ready for that now. I bet you are, too.
I sometimes wonder if you're out in the world in love with someone else right now. I actually don't mind picturing you that way. Hey, you're only human, and I hope you're the type of guy that, well, LIKES GIRLS. Sometime soon, though, you and the other girls will crash and burn. Chin up, though. You are being prepared to be MY companion, and I will not fail you.
The point of all this is, soon all the beauty we see around us we'll have the priviledge of seeing together. As lovers, as man and wife. Maybe at that day, facing some rocky terrain and looking like total junk after hiking or biking or running, or just adventuring, I'll hand you this letter and we can laugh and trace both of our spiritual and emotional growth since this point in time, when we were separate. That's going to be one fine day. I can't hardly wait for it. I'll be seeing you soon, handsome man. Take care. I love you. Get ready to catch. :)
Lindsey Ann
Today for me is going to be Valentine's Day, not SAD day, because I have too much love in my life to feel sorry for myself, much more than the average lonely person out there. Thanks again for all your best friendship, it means so, SO much to me.
The guy I was asking my question about was Taylor Z, whenever I think about him I think that he was the first and only guy I've ever met that I felt completely comfortable and happy around, someone I could be around for... years. Forever. Obviously, there is quite an element of too late-ness with him, and I am happy that he seems so happy (I KNEW he was going to marry a little granola blondie, he told me once he was afraid of marrying a Chinese girl who didn't like to hike and I was like, "Dude, you won't marry that kind of girl because you won't love her enough, you'll marry someone you like to be hiker you around.")
Anyways, maybe I will write him a letter someday, thank him for his friendship and wish him the best, which I do. I don't have anything I NEED to say to him at this little season of my life, but maybe in the future. Good idea, Jess.
Haha- so my braggy post on my other blog- I was going to end it with this picture (remember this?)
But then I remembered Jed's initials are J.B., and I got scared- what if he read my blog and got the wrong idea?? hahaha, that would be epic and also awkward and sad. But I love this picture, so I'll put it where it belongs, on THIS blog.
OK, time to cookie it up then spend the REST of this Valentine's day hawking cute pink cupcakes and marbled brownies to 1000 other couples all night. I'm actually kind of excited. It feels almost like service, the best way to spend this day when you're single.
Have a wonderful, wonderful day, enjoy the fact that you are currently working hard to make your and Adam's family a family of three! Oh oh it's MAGIC!
No comments:
Post a Comment