Uncertain Day Questionnaire

1. What do you do if there is something you regret from the past (aka a boy you didn't just say "to hell with it I adore you" to) and it's genuinely too late now? What do you say to yourself?

2. What do you do if you wake up every morning with no idea what you want to do today, next month, and this whole year long?

3. Where are the people at? Where do you find them?



... look at that. Universe gave me little bitty Step One. Take it as a challenge and run with it.

Love to you, Jess!

Sick.

Ok, I have seriously been so freaking ill. I am told that this is a good thing but I can't even move. This baby stuff is not all it's cracked up to be. But then I think of the cute sunglasses and it somehow gets me through. ;) wish I could write more but I have to go spend some more face time with the procelian thrown.

Dibs!

Someday, in the not too distant future when you become a mom and I take up the mantle as super-pseudo aunt, I claim the exclusive privilege of buying baby Clayton the perfect pair of... sunglasses.

That's right. Sunglasses, to guard their tiny eyes from the vicious sun and make them hip. When I went shopping for baby stuff for the first time in college, for my first pregnant friend's baby shower, I fell in deep, deep love with baby clothes shopping after finding the world's most adorable pair of sporty baby sunglasses at Target. I immediately bought them for my friend Michelle's unborn son, and before I and my tiny sophomore-in-college bank account knew what had happened, I had paired the sunglasses with matching tiny cargo pants (complete with little compass) and plaid lumberjack vest. It was, in my humble opinion, the cutest outfit ever put together for a tiny human. Mark, now 5, is a much better boy because of those sunglasses.

So just know, someday soon, I will be bringing tiny sunglasses to town and making your kid look like this:

or this:

(I like this pic especially because I feel like this is a pose and a face that any child of yours would make when placed in front of a camera and outfitted with schweet orange shades.)

Ps that Chuck Klosterman is a genius. That is maybe, truly, the most inspiring thing I've read in years, scriptures aside.

Sometimes I wish I would have had this...
plus it made me laugh when I was sick from doing homework...


Can you believe that I'm going to the doctor on Saturday! It's weird. I want everything to be ok, but at the same time I can't believe anything is really in there.

Lindsey My Love

Ok, is it bad karma voodoo that it took me this long to write you back? I am not even going to make promises of how often I will post because if I do that I will fail due to Murphy's law. ANYWAYS I feel like it has been forever since I have heard your voice on the phone! I miss you! I am sure you are working like a fiend making delicious treats...and since you are in a working bakery I thought you might appreciate this:

 

This is the way we make cookies for 96 schools across the Salt Lake Valley. Actually, I didn't even get to make them since I don't work in the kitchen that often, but I couldn't help but gawk at this machine as I walked past. I wanted to just snitch some off the top. Cooking in mass production, as I'm sure you have seen on some level, is a whole different beast. I had no idea. 

I have to admit, I KNOW this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now but sometimes I wonder if I will ever be ready to be a dietitian (as I eat a bag of Doritos....no really, I am right now). I mean I'm no picture of health. I do what I can, but I don't have the self control to say no to wonderful confections when I ought to. I know I don't exercise as much as I should, and at the end of a hard day food DOES make me feel better. NO one can convince me otherwise. Ah well, maybe my ability to understand 98% of the general American populations in those same habits will work to my advantage eventually. 

I still can't believe that I'm 25 now. few! That went fast! I still feel like I'm 13 sometimes. Today I was sitting in the car with all of the people from the office and they were talking about mortgages and tax forms. I just got so flustered that I didn't know what they were talking about or how they figured it all out! I mean it's not like I'm a dumb person! But then, even as they were talking about it, I thought they probably didn't know what they were getting into when they signed up for everything. A mortgage is just something everyone has, taxes are just something everyone does...and even if you don't know what you are doing you do it. Or at least that's what I've concluded after 25 years. 

I'm glad that you are taking some time off to become a republican version of Ana Pascal! :) I can just see you there with all your crumpets, cupcakes and coffee flitting from customer to customer with a smile on your face. You already know the regulars orders and have it ready at the same time each day. You wait patiently as some sticky hand 3 year old presses his runny nose against the glass trying to make the impossible decision of what cookie he wants. His mom on the other end of the child leash chatting on her cell phone and balancing her 3 coffees in the other hand. You are amazing. And guess what you will get the numbers down, If you aren't already I bet you will be the fastest 10-key entry girl on the East coast! You are smart and I don't think a little math problem is going to stumble you. And there will be some nights that your count is so close that it will be worth just slipping an extra dollar out of your own wallet to make the counts match. (just make sure it never goes the other way around!) I think it will be a great semester of freedom in a way, at the end of the day you are done. Leave work at work, unless it means bringing home a delicious crescent roll to munch on while you watch bones. 

I have not seen the show you were talking about. I still haven't even seen the Autistic kid movie that you suggested a while ago. I really want to see that one! I did however get a movie from the library the other day called Fanny. It was a cute show. Kinda slow, but cute...and there are the funniest old men in it. That was my favorite part! :)

IMDB: Almost 19-year-old Marius feels himself in a rut in Marseille, his life planned for him by his cafe'-owning father, and he longs for the sea. The night before he is to leave on a 5-year voyage, Fanny, a girl he grew up with, reveals that she is in love with him, and he discovers that he is in love with her. He must choose between an exciting life at sea, and a boring life with the woman he loves. And Fanny must choose between keeping the man she loves, and letting him live the life he seems to want.

I also just finished a book called the Help. That. was an awesome story. All of these women tell their stories of what it was like to raise white children in the south during the civil rights time period. While the rest of the world was moving forward in integration their they were stuck in this time warp in cotton country. I laughed and cried and if a book can pull both those emotions and not make me sick with some over descriptive love scene it's good enough for me. 

Annnyyyways. Write me back! I love you to the moon! *TOOOO THE MOOOOON! (you've seen Despicable me haven't you?)

Bright Star

Dear Jessica,

I know you texted me tonight but I was in the middle of watching Bright Star

on Netflix (Have you seen that?? I stopped right before it got sad, and up til then it was fabulous. Like watching a love poem unfold. I think that was the point). Anyways, the movie put me in a contemplative/writerly mood, so I decided to inagurate the Wild Lindssica blog. I don't have much to report tonight except for the news that yes, I decided to take this semester off and really let my inner Ana Pascal loose at the bakery (FYI I signed something saying I would never write the actual name of my work on a personal blog, that's why I never just call it by its real name. So annoying, but I guess that's a smart policy. They don't want some disgruntled ex-employee's blog to be the first thing that pops up when someone Googles _ _ _ _ _ _ Bake Shop.)

My reasons for taking a leave of absence from school are: I'll be saving money, getting my groove back, it's only one semester, I need the break, maybe I can fly home to the west more often!, and theoretically, I should have more time to relax now. I'm not so sure how this will work, though, when I'm scheduled to work the night shift EVERY. WEEKEND. This month. Someone's head is going to roll for that decision... unless it was in penance for me taking two weeks off for Christmas. Whatever, they didn't open the store until 2 days before I got back, it's not like I was leaving them in the lurch!

Ahem. No but I really am liking work. I have just discovered that I have ZERO. Math skills. Left in my brain. (why. am I using. so many periods?) I've been near panic the last two nights of work (the first nights I've closed solo); I'm in charge of all this complicated end-of-day accounting stuff, and I have just had to count and recount the safe money, drawer money, the nightly deposit, the tip count, the total sales, total combined net cash, blah blah blah cuz I keep getting it wrong and it's intense. Haha, do you remember that semester when you took accounting and Sarah and I became professional distractors? It was like our fiendish pleasure to entice you to put off a study session with Norm every chance we got. In fact, under some of our oldest, most classic FB pics, you have comments about accounting underneath them. Ah, good times, those college years...

Well, this original blogpost was intended to be one for the ages, something like John Keats' "A thing of beauty is a joy forever" or his "Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art/Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,/And watching, with eternal lids apart,/Like Nature’s patient sleepless Eremite,/The moving waters at their priestlike task,/Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,/Or gazing on the new soft fallen mask/Of snow upon the mountains and the moors..." Swoon.

Nope, it's 12:30 at night (my work schedule has me on night owl mode!) and it's time to just settle in for a long winter's nap. It's really cold and blustery out here. But only a dusting of snow! Just the way I like it. Hope it's snowy enough for you over there in Salt Lake, my PC ski bunny friend. I really did love your blog post about your family's Christmas. How fun that you can all ski together. My family just watches movies and cuddles. :) Not that I'm complaining! I love my family, and Christmas break felt darn near two weeks worth of perfection. It's been a joy to see my family growing and changing, especially how my dad grows in patience, charity, and joy as he attends to my mom's needs. That's one blessing that's come from Parkinson's disease. I hope I talk to you soon, I want to hear all about the internship and life in general. Oh, I saw Adam's beard pic- funny! You're married to a mountain man, when did this happen??

Talk to you soon.
Love,
Lindsey